The Tables Have Turned

Today I am woken up by my boyfriend coming home from work at 10 am, so immediately I knew something was wrong.  Since he rides his bike to work I thought he had a bad crash but was able to make it home.  Before I could get a good look at him he told me that our friend had tried to commit suicide this morning.  I shot out of bed and got dressed, gathered somethings and headed to the hospital with him.  

Once we got to the hospital I found out more details.  He had sent his friends and family an email this morning at 8 AM.  I now believe that it was auto-sent from his email.  Many of our friends either got to work and read it, read it at home, or got a call from someone.  The first people to get the email rallied and went looking for him.  Figuring that if it was sent at 8AM then there is a good chance he is still alive.  In a personal email to one of his closest friends he mentions a nearby hill so the friends split up and one group searched the hill and another went to his apartment. Before they had to break into his apartment he was found unconscious on the hill.  The friend that found him called 9-1-1 and notified everyone else to which hospital he was being taken too.  

He is currently in the ICU and stable but still not conscious.  Since he was outside for quite some time his core body temperature was low and therefore the drugs that he used to try and end his life are not metabolizing very fast.  The doctors believe that he will be waking up in the next couple of days and where he goes from there we do not know.  

I don't talk about my mental illness with many people, but I did open up to him previously and his family today.  It was head spinning to see things from the other side of the bed.  Although my attempt was not as severe since i never lost consciousness, I feel for him so deeply.  I can remember being at the hospital 2 years ago and going though all this stuff.  I have a greater appreciation for my family and friends. I know that without being forced into at 72 hour psychiatric hold I would not be where I am today.  In fact through this whole process I never once felt shaky about my own mental stability.  I only thought of it when my mom asked me if I was ok with everything that was going on.  I replied, "No...he's in the hospital." and she then said, "no I mean you personally and your mental health."  So in  supporting my friend I realize once again how far I have come and hope that he will be able to get the help he needs too.  I will always be there for him because I know what it feels like to want to end your life and am glad to be alive today and for many many years to come.