To Medicate or Not...

Medication in general has been an issue with me for many years! Due to my health history, I have been on some sort of meds since I was 9 months old and have always wished I could be meds free! This became a reality for me in HS, but only lasted one year. I had to return to the daily task of medication. So, since I take meds every single day twice a day I don’t like to take much else, even advil! I have never wanted to take any sort of anti-depressants/anxiety medication thinking I could do it on my own. Usually, that just let me to a dark, lonely hole that was harder to climb out of. This is the second time I have taken meds and this time around, I have come to terms with it much easier! I was still reluctant to do so, so everyday I would do a self evaluation. I would ask myself, “how am I doing on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being black hole depression.” I decided that I would go on meds again and talk to someone if I get to a 7. Well everyday, it would gradually climb and eventually I got to a 7 all on my own. The next day I called my dr., set up an appointment, and soon after started medication.

Since then, I’ve been taking it very diligently and have felt the load lighten. It didn’t cure it, because I still feel lonely and down, but it took the edge off. Emotionally I am more stable. I don’t cry as much or worry about the little things as much. Things still get to me and like I mentioned I still feel only I am just able to explain myself better and see myself in a new light. I hope to be off of this medication and standing solid by February. This gives me a lot of time to confront my fears. The choice to medicate or not is ultimately up to you, but if you've fallen far, i highly suggest it with doctor supervision.

Remember, fighting depression is a process and doesn’t have to happen immediately. It’s best to set realistic goals and if you meet them early that’s fine, and if you don’t that’s fine too! As long as your doing everything you can to get yourself to a better place.