HELP

Today for the first time in 9 months i felt like hurting myself...thank you mommy. I have felt depressed for days now and have tried to do my best. The people who used to support me have too many of their own problems to deal with and no time for me. As far as dear old mommy goes, i have asked her to leave me alone. I have told her that i am not mad at her. I have closed my door and she just keeps opening it. So i lost it. I yelled at her and threw a rubbermaid storage box at her because she wouldn't leave. She's pist and clueless. Since i've been OK lately, there is no reason to help or listen. I really want an escape and i only know how to do it with my meds. I won't do it...but i really want to.